My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
