Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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