Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
