I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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