Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
