everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
