he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
