her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just had sex on a roof
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
