wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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