In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
