Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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