I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he laminated a picture of his dick.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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