Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
