Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
