Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
