that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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