Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
