He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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