I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
