Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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