i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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