Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
