I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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