Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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