She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
