What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woke up backwards on a recliner
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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