So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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