he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
