Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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