You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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