Duck Duck Cougar?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
