I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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