Is it normal to miss your booty call?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
