I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She needs sedatives and a leash
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
