careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Found your dick twin last night
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
