the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
