She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
