I faked an abortion last night.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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