3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
