Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
