Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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