if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
