Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
