Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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