Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
