peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
