so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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