real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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