Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
