So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
