i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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