where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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