also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
