she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
